This category contains 11 posts

I found a letter I wrote to my abusive X before the divorce…. Have you ever wondered how abused people think?

The quoted letter was written to my X during the last three years of our “marriage”. In this post, I’m responding to myself in the past, correcting a few of those old perspectives. I wonder what I’ll think of it after a few more years of healing?This might be helpful to you or someone you … Continue reading

Are you vulnerable to manipulation? When relational predators turn strength into weakness.

Relational predators have an innate skill for turning strengths into weaknesses. Remember, just because who you are can be used against you doesn’t mean you are worthless. It just means you’re with someone who doesn’t know how to appreciate your value. And it’s important to understand, especially when dealing with predators, that every element of ones identity can appear as both a weakness … Continue reading

IR: Sex, Divorce, and Good Christian Kids … A fresh perspective.

To be honest, sex scares me. First I grew up within a twisted religious structure that caused me to worry when my father hugged me, because “All men think that way. They can’t help it.” And then I jumped right into a marriage based on rape and control, (thinking it was love) because “All men think that … Continue reading

Some calm suggestions for Christian parents of atheist or agnostic children.

I avoid talking about faith with my parents now, because my view of God makes them fearful. I’ve gone from being “practically a saint” in their eyes to someone whose salvation they just might have to question if I go too far … and all because I don’t buy into the church approach to viewing God … Continue reading

When it is unimaginable to be yourself … pretend.

When I realized how much religious pressure and brainwashing I’d gone through growing up, I had to test a lot of assumptions. One … am I really straight? Now, I assume I’d have noticed if I were lesbian … but it was possible I might be bi without letting myself notice. It is with great interest … Continue reading

I left him because I loved him. For when your own safety isn’t convincing.

I can certainly identify with this woman’s story. I went through this mental process, too. – Mere Dreamer “My own well-being probably ought to be enough to get me out of danger and keep me out, but I’m not to that point in the process yet. And if you aren’t either, I’m writing this for … Continue reading

Why I Don’t Believe in “Normal”

This: “I DO NOT BELIEVE IN NORMAL. And I want us all to be set free from the relentless pursuit of it. Because, when you’re gunning for normal I think really you’re gunning for one of two things. “One. Perfect. Which isn’t. And it isn’t ever going to be. No matter how much stuff you … Continue reading

Everyday sexism: the tale of two boys

“the common courtesy we women are acculturated to show everyone should be something we ought to be able to expect to receive in return.” via Everyday sexism: the tale of two boys | Wine and Marble.

Jamie the Very Worst Missionary reminds us, “You are allowed your process.”

“Our job is not to drag and pull others into our space, but to love and nurture them exactly where they’re at – no matter where they’re at – and to accept that God may have them on a different path on a different plane on what seems like a different planet.” “And that is … Continue reading

WANTED — Fantasy Wife

Originally posted on A Cry For Justice:
I am a deeply flawed man looking for the ideal woman to fix my life. She must be willing to give all of her energy, time, and talent to meeting my needs. She will be my rescuer, savior, and strength. This position is only for a very unique…

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