Abuse in Culture

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A World Without Consent — Growing Up Goddy — Medium

Quote – “I had male and female friends who, though conflicted about their own sexual volition, wanted to have sex and were happy when it happened, even though they had not consented and in some cases protested.” I finally see the piece of the puzzle I’ve been missing all this time. When I was a … Continue reading

I found a letter I wrote to my abusive X before the divorce…. Have you ever wondered how abused people think?

The quoted letter was written to my X during the last three years of our “marriage”. In this post, I’m responding to myself in the past, correcting a few of those old perspectives. I wonder what I’ll think of it after a few more years of healing?This might be helpful to you or someone you … Continue reading

Modesty, Nudity, and My Dangerous Body – Fear or fear not? that is the question

I was chatting with an artist friend today about nakedness and my response to seeing it, comparing the sight of feminine nudity to that of male nudity, even the non-erotic sort that is preferable to me either way. A nagging sensation that has been bothering me for quite some time finally coalesced enough to really see … Continue reading

#YesAllWomen are hoping for transformed culture

I married my rapist and everyone was happy about it, because that is how blind culture can be. I believed that his claim of loving me meant he couldn’t possibly rape me; I was supposed to love him no matter what. I had been taught that men can’t help “it” and that it was my responsibility to stop him. … Continue reading

Are you vulnerable to manipulation? When relational predators turn strength into weakness.

Relational predators have an innate skill for turning strengths into weaknesses. Remember, just because who you are can be used against you doesn’t mean you are worthless. It just means you’re with someone who doesn’t know how to appreciate your value. And it’s important to understand, especially when dealing with predators, that every element of ones identity can appear as both a weakness … Continue reading

I left him because I loved him. For when your own safety isn’t convincing.

I can certainly identify with this woman’s story. I went through this mental process, too. – Mere Dreamer “My own well-being probably ought to be enough to get me out of danger and keep me out, but I’m not to that point in the process yet. And if you aren’t either, I’m writing this for … Continue reading

Mother’s Day: When failure to love changes the world.

Too often those of us who have been loved, albeit imperfectly, find it too easy to question the viewpoint of those who have been abused, thinking our small pangs of past misunderstandings qualify us to correct the perspective of the soul-wounded. We must be learn to fall silent, my friends, and allow others to express their truth in honesty. Beneath … Continue reading

The Christian right and pornographers: brothers in arms

What I appreciate about the quote below is its shock value. There is enough truth in it to hit hard, and that says something very important. “Foundational to the Christian condemnation of homosexuality (and, indeed, of all sexuality) is the conviction that it is possible for a person to divorce their sexuality from their soul—from … Continue reading

What You Teach Your Kids When You Hit Them

“Do you want your child to grow up and fall in love with someone who hits them? How would you feel if your child’s partner hit them and then forced your child to hug them right afterward? When you hit your child and then say, ‘This is because I love you,’ what do you think … Continue reading

Things you can do for someone in an abusive relationship

The linked article is very important! I highly recommend that you bookmark it and share it. “Someone who is not an abuser can engage in abusive behaviors.[…]However, there is a difference between someone who does abusive things and an abuser.” “An abuser is what American culture tends to think of as a “sociopath,” although it … Continue reading

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