Relational predators have an innate skill for turning strengths into weaknesses. Remember, just because who you are can be used against you doesn’t mean you are worthless. It just means you’re with someone who doesn’t know how to appreciate your value.
And it’s important to understand, especially when dealing with predators, that every element of ones identity can appear as both a weakness and a strength depending on the perspective brought to the situation by others. The exact part of you that one person uses against you, is the element that another will treasure.
It is important to know the difference between a person who values weakening your strengths because it makes you vulnerable or dependent, and a person who supports and accepts you even when you are weak because they still see and value your strength.
Understanding what makes a person susceptible to manipulative relational techniques can help you recognize when someone is using your strengths and vulnerabilities against you.
I recently discovered the Sociopath Life blog, linked below, discussing how to recognize and armor yourself against sociopaths and similar predators. This article “A Victim’s Traits” is a useful place to start, though I’ll probably link a few more eventually.
“A few personality traits that persons with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Sociopaths are attracted to [and] traits instilled after being involved with these people…. You do not necessarily need to have any of these traits to become entangled …”
Read the lists at A Victims Traits | SociopathLife.Com
I found Avalanche of the Soul via The Cut-Throat Clubhouse group blog.
“‘The Persuader’ is facet of an abusive personality that many women see when we try to leave the relationship. He’s a highly manipulative character, who will relentlessly guilt-trip and emotionally blackmail you into staying with him…. The Persuader has a whole host of tactics – subtle, and in-your-face – all designed to keep you right where he wants you. These tactics are very common.”
Read the rest at: What your abuser doesn’t want you to know | Avalanche of the soul
Traumatic bonding is a hit with abusers, because it helps him to maintain much-needed control. It helps him keep you where he wants you: tethered to him and his soul-destroying behaviour. But, the bond isn’t as iron-clad as he imagines. Here’s FIVE things he hopes you don’t know about traumatic-bonding, and how to shake off the shackles.
I am editing this article to add relevant links as I find them.