To be honest, sex scares me.
First I grew up within a twisted religious structure that caused me to worry when my father hugged me, because “All men think that way. They can’t help it.” And then I jumped right into a marriage based on rape and control, (thinking it was love) because “All men think that way. They can’t help it. And … it was my fault if I didn’t like it.”
I look at my children and I don’t know what to do. How in all this universe can I teach them a healthy perspective on sex when I … don’t have one? This is why I’m grateful for articles like the one linked below. It helps to add other perspectives to challenge what I’ve always known. Hopefully the kids will figure things out if I give them enough information.
“Christian culture over-values virginity at marriage so much that it heightens to an unreasonable degree the tension of an already momentous and risky decision. Marriage is, in a lot of ways, a jump off the cliff of adulthood that forces you to come face to face with yourself, and that’s when you find out just how much you can depend on yourself [to be mature and kind], without the parachute or training wheels of an easy exit. Most of us find as newlyweds that our selves aren’t really all that dependable, and we’re actually pretty selfish and immature.”
Read the rest of this excellent article at IR: Sex, Divorce, and Good Christian Kids | Wine & Marble.